When God leads me to verses about forgiveness, I always have that moment where I say, "But God, they did all of this." God, they don't even acknowledge you. Why do I have to forgive?
I have to forgive because He, God, said to forgive. Drop mic, end of the story.
Ephesians 4:32
"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
My Personal Reflection
On January 4, 2021, Robert was diagnosed with Stage 4 Bladder Cancer. It didn't seem possible after the year we had. In January and February 2020, he had three kidney surgeries involving biopsies. His lab work showed no signs that this was headed along the way. There was an option at one point to remove the kidney problem, but Robert opted out of that surgery.
Life seemed to be getting back to normal until October 2020, when Robert had a heart attack due to a blood clot. I kept thinking it was tied to his kidney surgeries, but I seemed to be outnumbered in that thought. I am not a doctor, and it's not my body. Again, life seemed to get back to normal. Robert was lucky to survive the 2nd heart attack. He was in the hospital when it happened and had a fantastic nurse. After the heart attack, Robert was confident about where he was going when he died. His relationship with God and desire to share God had become vital to him.
On December 14, 2020, our son boarded a plane for a trip to California and Hawaii with his Grandmother. December 14 is the anniversary of the first time Robert said he loved me so many years ago. It was also the day our nightmare began. We thought he had food poisoning. After Three emergency room visits, there was no relief. On Christmas day, he collapsed in our bathroom upstairs, and I rushed him back to the hospital. Finally, they could see what was going on. He had a huge mass in his stomach that the food could not get past. Because of his blood thinners and the Holidays, his surgery was scheduled for January 4, and my world blew up that day. The doctor came in to tell me Robert had stage 4 bladder cancer, and his time was very limited.
January 5 or 6, many of the days are a blur. Robert and I woke up to his oncologist and his urologist coming in for a visit. A plan was being put in place. But after the oncologist left, the urologist, with tears in his eyes, apologized to Robert, telling him he wished he had been more aggressive and taken out the kidney. He didn't fully understand how they missed the cancer. I watched my husband reach out and forgive the doctor. I was so angry, tears streaming down my face. I had to walk into the other room. I was going to go after this doctor. My anger was so deep. But Robert forgave him. Quickly, without any second thoughts. He never went back on that forgiveness.
After the doctor left, Robert knew my heart was filled with anger towards how the hospital had treated us in the ER and the doctors who missed his cancer even though it was right there. But he forgave them all. I wanted to sue everyone within a hundred yards of this whole mess. But Robert forgave them. We talked enough about forgiveness, how we can't expect humans to be perfect, and that there was no malice. Just they couldn't see what God knew was there. Robert didn't want me to waste my energy fighting to prove a point. He wanted me to forgive. I didn't sue, but it took me over two years after his death to forgive.
The thing about Robert forgiving them all is that even when I would start to be angry at the doctors, the hospital, and the ER all I could remember was that Robert forgave.
Prayer:
Father, we come before You seeking the strength and wisdom to truly understand and embody the act of forgiveness. In moments of hurt and anger, guide our hearts towards the path of tenderheartedness and grace. Help us to forgive as You have forgiven us. Amen.
Bible Example: Joseph's Remarkable Forgiveness
One poignant illustration of forgiveness can be found in the inspiring story of Joseph, a man whose life was marked by betrayal, adversity, and extraordinary forgiveness.
Joseph's brothers, consumed by jealousy and resentment, sold Joseph into slavery, leading their father to believe he was dead. For years, Joseph endured the trials of servitude and imprisonment. It was a journey filled with hardship and suffering, and it would have been entirely understandable for him to harbor bitterness and desire revenge against his brothers.
However, when the moment of reckoning finally arrived, when Joseph held power and authority over those who had wronged him, he chose a path that defied human logic and expectation. He extended forgiveness.
In Genesis 50:15-21, we read of this remarkable moment. Joseph's brothers approached him, fearing he would be unforgiving. But Joseph's response was both profound and compassionate. He reassured them, saying, "Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."
He forgave his brothers for their sake and his own, finding freedom from the chains of bitterness. Joseph's story is a powerful testament to the transformative power of forgiveness. It teaches us that forgiveness is not a weakness but a strength, a force that can mend broken relationships and bring about healing, even in the most dire circumstances. It is a reminder that, like Joseph, we, too, can choose the path of forgiveness, trusting in God's ultimate plan and the redemptive power of grace.
Bible Verses to Read:
Colossians 3:13
Matthew 6:14-15
Luke 17:3-4
Psalm 32:1
Matthew 18:21-22
Genesis 37-50
Call to Action:
Please take a moment to reflect on a person or situation that you find hard to forgive. Consider the weight of unforgiveness that you've been carrying. Ask yourself how it has affected your life and well-being. Then, ponder the concept of extending grace.
In forgiveness, you might discover a sense of liberation and healing you never thought possible. It's a powerful testament to the transformative power of grace and the profound impact it can have on our lives.
Journal Prompt:
Write a letter to the person you've been struggling to forgive. Pour out your emotions, expressing both the hurt and the desire for healing. Release the burden that has weighed on you for too long.
.png)